I have always HATED working out. You heard me, Hated. A deep and fiery Hate, with a capital H.
See, I never felt particularly good at it – I was always off balance, out of breath and frustrated. I would (on occasion) be convinced to do some sort of workout class or a fun run and this would just re-confirm my stance – nope, working out is not for me!
As I got older, I learned just how important staying active is to my physical and mental health so I kept stutter starting over and over again, trying to get myself into a peace treaty with a work out routine.
“staying active is critical to my physical and mental health”
So, this past Christmas, when Jimmy’s sisters proposed a 3 month long workout challenge, I opted in.(and before you ask, yes, this decision may have been influenced by alcohol.) It took a whole 3 days of said challenge to deeply regret this choice. I hated having to think “but when am I going to work out today!?” But lucky for me (read sarcasm) there was the added pressure of trying to ensure his sisters liked me and didn’t think I was a giant wuss (Hi Jess! Hi Marlee!) so I begrudgingly kept up with it.
So there I was, stuck in a dance with the devil himself. Day in and day out it was a struggle to push this idea of a “workout routine” up the mountain of my life. But as I stuck with it, I found my brain and body give way to the force of habitual repetition. Days passed, and then weeks, and then months, and then the challenge was over- but I found myself still keeping up with my routine. I even doubled down on my workouts during quarantine. Then, very recently, I sat up and realized – OMG! I don’t hate working out any more!! *cue angels singing*
Some days it’s still hard, some days I’m less excited, but more often than not, my overwhelming emotion is feeling #PROUD of myself. I’m #proud I overcame a lifelong mental and physical block. I am #proud of the sweat and time and feeling of my body get stronger. And I’m #proud that I let myself be ever evolving- even in times like these.